Thursday, July 11, 2013

i have this image of what my life should look like. For years i wanted to Jordan, Nia Longs character in the best man. You know young, successful, and attractive. Jordan lived the life i saw myself living. New York, pursuing my PR dreams\while writing for a hip hop focused magazine. Its been 6 years since i finished undergrad, and to be quite honest my life looks nothig like tha
t, and some part of me feels like i'm missing out. my life movie, in my head, i see me strutting down a NY sidewalk, to some beautifully architectured high rise where I work on a floor with an amazing view, surrounded by pretentious people pretending to be something they're not. All the while i have found some magical way to be true to self, and still accepted. There are days i wake up and say, is this how you wanted your life to go? living in Denton Tx, working in higher education??? i know i can get up and go pursue these things, but there is such a mental war that takes place. On the one hand, i am passionate about higher education, and finding ways to bridge the educational gap among Black students. Then on the other side, i know if i go and bust my butt and pay my dues, i could be an amazingly successful PR/writer. One will bring me success as defined by society, hell myself, but will probably cost me a piece of myself. The other, more noble, and i'd have a chance of remaining humble. the third dream is to do both. Get my bearings in higher ed; then go on to explore how the two could be combined. we'll see how this thing plays out.

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