Thursday, July 11, 2013

i have this image of what my life should look like. For years i wanted to Jordan, Nia Longs character in the best man. You know young, successful, and attractive. Jordan lived the life i saw myself living. New York, pursuing my PR dreams\while writing for a hip hop focused magazine. Its been 6 years since i finished undergrad, and to be quite honest my life looks nothig like tha
t, and some part of me feels like i'm missing out. my life movie, in my head, i see me strutting down a NY sidewalk, to some beautifully architectured high rise where I work on a floor with an amazing view, surrounded by pretentious people pretending to be something they're not. All the while i have found some magical way to be true to self, and still accepted. There are days i wake up and say, is this how you wanted your life to go? living in Denton Tx, working in higher education??? i know i can get up and go pursue these things, but there is such a mental war that takes place. On the one hand, i am passionate about higher education, and finding ways to bridge the educational gap among Black students. Then on the other side, i know if i go and bust my butt and pay my dues, i could be an amazingly successful PR/writer. One will bring me success as defined by society, hell myself, but will probably cost me a piece of myself. The other, more noble, and i'd have a chance of remaining humble. the third dream is to do both. Get my bearings in higher ed; then go on to explore how the two could be combined. we'll see how this thing plays out.

freedom aint free

The Road to debt freedom is paved with obstacles. Remember, this is not forever, and it is for your benefit. These three years will go by quickly and in the end you will look back and say it was well worth it. You will have moments where you will shout life is not fair, or, I wish I just had what someone else had. Well life is not fair according to your standards, and you don’t have what others have. And remarkably none of this is negative. Your experiences and challenges will continue to mold you into the person you are becoming. Three years from now you will say this was not easy, but you did it. You are creating habits that will benefit not only yourself, but your family. You are preparing a future for your posterity, and that is priceless. So today while you are hopeful and excited about this journey remember, you will have days where you will scream, and cry, and be frustrated, but it is all a part of the process. Record your feelings and thoughts. Note your progress, and reward yourself in healthy ways. Rewarding yourself does not mean you buy something new all the time, it may be sharing your experience or reflecting on where you’ve come from. No this is not how you pictured your life, but it’s the hand you’ve been dealt. So play your hand, make wise choices, ask for guidance from the Holy Spirit, and allow yourself to be stretched. Allow yourself to grow, especially in those moments where you feel as if you are not moving forward. Don’t think short term, remember slow and steady wins the race; this is a marathon not a sprint. Read this often. Create a board or wall (you used to laugh at this, but now it makes sense) that represents the things you’d like to accomplish, and be open if these things change. Good luck girl, you can do it!! Look how much you’ve done already!!! Porshe LaChelle Chiles July 9, 2013

Grown Up

So I’ve received my first installments of loan repayments. Yes, plural, 3 loan bills came in the mail. Now usually I would go into panic mode, but you know what…why. I owe up of 70k in student loans, and though that’s a lot of money, I created this debt and I intend on paying it back. Yes, some of the money used unwisely, but some of it was used to help my family, fund 2 degrees, and was helpful in emergency situations. All in all, were all my years of school and the experiences that came with it worth 70K? Yes, hell yes. I have 2 degrees, a lifetime of memories, great friends, and experiences that have shaped who I am today. With that said today begins my journey to get out of debt. I have already made steps to decrease my expenses, and after seeing the reality of my debt situation, I must take even more drastic steps to get rid of this debt. I read that this guy paid back 90K+ in student loans in 3 years. His salary was six figures, but if I buckle down, I’d like to see my student loans gone in the same amount of time. I plan to meet with a financial advisor, or someone who is well versed on repayment options. This is an area that I cannot fault on. This is not weight loss, it debt freedom, and I want to be free from this by the time I’m 33. So here it goes