Thursday, June 20, 2013

It is Finished!!!

 I graduated with my Masters in Education, I am the first person in my family to get a masters degree.


Time really flies by. This time 2 years ago I was packing my bags getting ready to leave Japan. Now i've: earned a Master's Degree, lived in DC for a summer, met some amazing people, rekindled some friendships, cried, laughed, turnt up, asked God why, thrown my hands up, fought, held up my white flag and surrendered to God, struggled, hugged and kissed my nieces & nephews, been to Las Vegas twice, lost weight; then gained some of it back, realized what i want is not necessarily good for me, been to Puerto Vallarta, zip lined in the mountains, scuba dived, rode a donkey, been to Nashville, had some of the best Tequila in the world (in my opinion), had 2 car accidents (neither my fault) got rid of a car, got another car(i love you lex luther), saw family i hadn't seen in 10 years, went to San Francisco, Sacremento, & Napa Valley, Went to my first NFL game then got to meet the players, saw Nas & Lauryn Hill in concert, went to a private event where the former Secretary of State Hillary R. Clinton officiated, met a Nobel Peace Prize Winner, went to Louisville KY, met John Legend, Dan Savage, Condoleeza Rice, lost a baby that was close to me, joined an amazing church, lived with multiple people two different times (smh), soon I will witness two of my closest friends taking a major step in marriage, and 2013 isn't even half over....

And some things have not gone my way, but things have turned out just the way they were supposed to. 

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

trust issues

hi my name is Msinformed, and i have trust issues...whew feels good to get that off my chest.

my trust issues are linked to my father ~ long story short:
 daddy's girl > he cheated; then left > i don't trust men > i don't trust God.

i think ive done a decent job of not allowing past hurts to stop me from being successful in most areas of my life, but there are a few places that have been affected:
1. Relationship with God
2. Relationships with men (this includes friends, family, boyfriends, etc.)
3. the need to prove my worth

A friend of mine recently said, " Self assessment and self awareness are kinda useless if I can't make adjustments. Kinda just an exercise in philosophical braininess if I don't edit and advance my character." 
~ Lovey

And that's where i've found myself. i am very much aware of my flaws and can even tell you where they stem from, but for the life of me, i haven't been able to figure out how to move past this part of my self assessment.  And maybe that's the problem, i've been trying instead of trusting that only God can bring about the necessary changes.