Tuesday, December 27, 2011

back 2 the basics

after removing my holiday hair, (hair worn strictly for the holidays). i've decided to go back to my natural roots, again.  Relaxed hair was fun, and i looked uber cute, but my hair is revolting, so why fight it. Au Natural, don't call it a come back.  plus i've decided, with my mother, to begin training for a 5/10k, so not worrying about my hair will be helpful.
plus living abroad is easier when you're not concerned with finding an outlet for your flat iron. (ijs)

i'll keep you all posted...nighty night

Monday, December 26, 2011

OH the places i will go

Spending Christmas in Nashville, TN with my sister, and we've had a wonderful time. One of our favorite past times is watching movies. we've watched Kung fu panda, Monte Carlo, mission impossible, and cars 2. These movies all have one thing in common.  They take place abroad.  I'm convinced now more than ever, that i MUST TRAVEL.

i see 2 paths before me. the safe one and the adventurous one.  One that says graduate, get a good job, marriage, kids, blah, blah, blah.
Two says graduate and live abroad. i mean just go for it, get jobs here and there, and live it up.

Lord help i want option 2.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

defying Gravity

Today was my boss's last day. sooo super sad. I didn't cry until i got home, opened my Christmas gift and found a laptop cover, which i so needed, and a c.d. with 6 songs on it. The first song in, i cried.

There is something to be said about people who ignite the fire of success in others. Boss was that person. i'd only spent one semester with her, and she has definitely changed me for the better.

love ya Boss!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

back in the saddle

good news school is over!!! even better news i got all A's wooohoooo. now that that's done.

back in the saddle, weird title, but here it goes.

i've gained sooo much weight, so by in the saddle i mean saddle bags uuuugggghh. i disgust myself right now. well i'm disappointed in myself.  i'm not motivated, i'm cooking again, finals had me all hemmed up, now its cold and rainy, and this new relaxed hair is hindering me. But this has GOT TO STOP.

i don't make new year's resolutions, but i desperately need a work out/running buddy. oh how i miss my Basima. So i'm searching...i have to get back on the workout horse.

Monday, December 5, 2011

so long, fare well

my boss is leaving. she got an amazing job offer in St. Louis, and by the end of the month she'll be moving.   i cried. the day was already going pretty harsh,  earlier i'd called my lawyer to find out the status of my accident case, and the insurance company hadn't contacted them. so i was already on the verge of tears from frustration, so this news just did it.

i feel so blessed to have gotten to spend time with my boss. She's an amazing mentor, and i'll miss our talks.

thanks M.H.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Oh so this is why its called a master's degree...

Because it owns me.

i've finally come up for air today.  i finally got 7 hours of sleep in a night, friends are coming to save me today, and release the chains of homework. true these are self inflicted chains, and wounds, but in my defense at the time furthering my education sounded like a great idea.

so outside of this horribleness, that is grad school, here is what's happening to me:

Carless in Denton - yes, my accident was Sept. 26, 2011 and as of December 3, 2011 i'm still without transportation.  there are many words, phrases, gestures, and a host of horrible thoughts that rolling around this newly expanded brain of mine.

Who does depression hurt - EVERYONE, especially me, yes people i've been depressed lately.  i considered myself an extremely independent person, so having to ask for rides to do things like go to the grocery store, has been overwhelming at times.  Not to mention this master's degree owns me (pun def intended). so to deal with this issue, i started seeing a counselor. hi my name is P and i see a counselor, and i'm black.
side bar:  why is there a stigma of seeking counseling when one feels depressed. when i'm sick i don't    say, well you know what they say about people who go the doctor.  hell you go to a doctor because you're sick.  a lawyer when you need legal council. so connect the dots people. *steps of soap box, puts its back in purse.

Physical pain - the accident rattled me up pretty bad, i was seeing a wonderful chiropractor, but bcs. of the car situation (see above 'carless') i had to move to Denton, yes move, there was no way for me to get to school/work, bcs. i was paying for my rental out of pocket. 5weeks of that is expensive. so i moved, which meant i had to find a new chiropractor. (they pick me up) Now i've been given medication, some machine that shocks my muscles, and pillow to help with my sleepless nights.

with everything going on, you can imagine the water works, that i've been having.  Not to mention, i'm away from my friends and family.  i'm only an hour away, but that might as well be Japan, if i can't get to them. the only positive in all of this drama is that when i cry i'm crying out to God. (tear)  yes, this mess has drawn me closer, so i guess it needed to happen.  i find myself reciting scripture, listening to music that speaks to my spirit, and reminds me that He loves me, has my best interest at heart, and has already made provisions. (wipes tears now flowing down my face).

This semester has been challenging, but i will boast in my weakness. God you are yet faithful and you continue to keep my heart and mind, and for that i thank you.