Friday, November 26, 2010

time to re-contract

i've been here for almost six months, and in six months, my grandmother passed, my cousin teetered on life and death, and most recently my mother was rushed to the emergency for blood clots. with everything that has gone on, i really don't know how i feel about being away from my family for another year.

trying to get my pros and cons list going, and right now its looking about even. Don't know what to do...

Let's Get it

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Dear J letters part 1

This will be a new section of my blog called Dear J. these short letters, are written sporadically throughout the day. bcs i've been just randomly writing them, they are in no particular order...

Sunday, October 31, 2010

I want to be abnormal

i am terrified to be the cookie cutter American female. i don't want to get married, have kids, and forget who/what i was.

i feel that going back to what is so familiar, will only stunt my growth. there's soo much i want to see and do, and i'm gettin anxious about what should/will happen next.


halloween Nihon style...

Went out last night to celebrate an associates birthday. Started out the evening at a magnificent restaurant called Rigoletto, i loved everything, its an upscale hot spot in Roppongi Hills, located in the Mori Tower.

After dinner, we wandered in Roppongi, in the mood to dance. halloween, in my opinion, is the perfect time for people to go completely wild, and feel like their behavior will be excused.

anywho, i was dressed pretty darn cute, if i say so myself, and i realized that i do not like alot of attention. Men kept staring at me, often approaching me and i felt strangely uncomfortable. After dancing the night away, went to an amazing pizza parlour, and a group of older European men would not stop gawking at me. it got so bad we ended up moving tables just to avoid their wandering eyes. Well, they finished their early morning snack, and while walking out continued to stare, and one guy even winked at me. Now, i guess some women find this experience ejoyable, i felt totally violated. I had on a turtleneck, a skirt and black tights, so there was no skin exposed. it totally gave me the heeby jeeby's.

anywho all in all great fun!!!

Friday, October 15, 2010

who's bad...

i had my first real 'dealings' with the wanna be badazzes of the school. So i'm walking up the steps closest to my classes, which happens to be the hang out for all the misfits. Well i always walk up these stairs so no biggie for me.

Well one kid decides to be say hello like 100x's. Well i wasn't in the mood to fool with any of them, so i just keep walking. So, tired of being ignored he says, "kill you." I stop turn around to look, and continue to walk to class. my back was to them, so i don't know who was talking.

i tell one of the other English teachers, and continue with my day.

After lunch, i'm going to my next class, same hallway, same misfits. some one says hello again, being that i'd just eaten, and was in a better mood, i say hello, and continue to walk. then i hear, "kill you" so i turn around and ask, "are you sure, you want to do that?, Do you want to kill me? are you sure?"

i spotted the kid who said it, and walked down to where he was, stood directly in front of him, and continued to ask. "Are you sure want to kill me, do you want to kill me? are you sure?" By now the don't back down side of me is riled up. I continue to ask these same questions while looking directly at the boy. His comrades are hurriedly telling him no he didn't mean it, he's sure he doesn't want to..."

i turned back around, and walked up stairs. i'm pretty sure he pissed on himself. See kids will only do what you allow them to do. And bullies are usually cowards that have never been confronted. All i know is if i have to deal with foolishness again, Japan will be in for a rude awakening.

Let's get it!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Go big Blue!

So i know i've been slacking on the blogging, but things have slowed down . a bit. Every year all the junior high schools have field day. The school divides the students into 3 groups A-Bun-dan, B-bun-dan, and C-bundan (bun-dan means group/party). This year i was on the ABun team, go big blue!!!

They take this very seriously, and have lovingly named it The Kayalympics (my schools name is Kayada). Well due to rain, i missed the Kayalympics, but was informed today that my team gave me major shout-outs. They said, "We have a new American supporter, Porshe. She is strong, nice, and has a beautiful smile!!!"

That was the highlight of my day!!!! i <3 my school!!!! i feel sooo uber blessed

Let's get it

Monday, September 20, 2010


i love sports. i mean hard hitting, gut wrenching, action 'til the last second sports!! and SUMO wrestling has provided all of that, and more. I went to my first SUMO tournament on the 19th, and it was the greatest!!!

When we got to the Ryokogu Sumo stadium, all the cheap tickets were sold out. Well after riding a train for over an hour, we decided, we'd pay the 50+ bucks, and enjoy our day. so we bought our tickets; since we had time, we decided to walk around the area and get something to eat.

On our way, we spotted 2 SUMO wresters!!! i was sooo excited i had to ask for pictures, and they obliged.

With full stomachs we headed back to the arena, and settled in for what i thought would be a boring event. Much to my surprise it was anything but boring. The grand entrance of the SUMOs is exciting to watch, with their colorful outfits, the crowd screaming their favorite contendor's name, and the announcer egging them on.

By the end of the first set of wrestling, i was all in. i began shouting for the fighter with the most colorful ensemble. i didnt care that noone else was yelling, i figured this is a contact sport, save the whispering for the golf course. After a little while the couple below, began shouting for their favorite fighter, and the man in front of them followed suit. i thought, YES, now this is how you enjoy a sporting match.

it was amazing, if you get the chance to catch a match sit back and enjoy. i can't wait to go back!!!


Saturday, September 18, 2010

Schools in session

So i've been in school for almost 3 weeks. I was going to post the first day, but i felt i needed to get an accurate feel for my school. how do i sum this up...

whoever said Japanese kids were soo well behaved, NEVER worked @ a junior high school. I'm convinced all junior high kids come from some dark place LOL. When the teachers are scared of the kids, there's a major problem. Now i didnt say I was scared of them, but other teachers. I think they know not to act crazy with the scary blaque lady...bwhahahah.

Its not all bad, the 7th graders are the GREATEST!!! idk what it happens over the summers, but right now, thats the only group i'll eat lunch with. They're my happy place lol.

kids are kids.


Thursday, August 19, 2010

McDonalds...tastes just like...well better than home

Ok so yea i broke down and ate McDonald's. i'm not saying i'm proud of it, but the neon lights were so beckoning. Well i started out going to eat a salmon rice ball, but they were out, so i decided to walk to the grocery store. Well McDonald's is conveniently located inside the store...
Excuses, excuses, i wanted McDonald's so i got it. But i biked 4 miles right after This will not be a habitual thing, i promise.
Let's Get It!

Monday, August 16, 2010

back to reality...well almost

So my time as a vacationer is winding down. School starts Sept. 1, and with it my new profession as a teacher. so yea, i'm nervous and excited, really i just want to get going. Today i practiced my speech. i have to give a speech (in Japanese) to the teachers, students, principals, etc. Now usually i enjoy speeches, but i've never given one in Japanese, so that changes everything.

i've also been working on my introduction poster, so that's been fun.
The picture is of the United Nations University in Tokyo!
Let's Get It!!

Thursday, August 12, 2010


My new hobby is running!! i've surprised myself actually. i used to say i was allergic to running, but now i'm drawn to it. Running has provided a couple of things for me:

1. the great outdoors - i MISS being outside. Not in the lets go for a nature walk idea of being outside, but in the "i've GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE" state of mind. see i've been avoiding going outside for a few reasons. the heat, and the stares. Man i never knew how ANNOYING being stared at constantly is. i mean cars stopping in the middle of the street, people losing control of their bikes, annoying as h3ll staring. So i run outside, at night, i know my mother is having a fit, but yes i run @night, not late night, but a little after dusk. Just to avoid the ever watching eyes.

2. fitness, if nothing else being here makes you feel extremely OBESE. Even in visiting stores like the gap, you think man where have i gone wrong in my life, where i'm bigger than a size 6. Japan provides the perfect element to get off your buns, and get physically fit. this week alone i've walked 13/14 miles, not because i'm that dedicated, but walking/biking is your primary mode of transportation. So after a long day of walking, i figure might as well kick it up a notch, and go for an evening run, heck i'm already sweaty.

So these are the top 2 reasons i've taken up running. we'll see how this works in the Winter...until then


Thursday, August 5, 2010

lesson learned

Today started out somber and reflective. Went to a memorial ceremony for Hiroshima. There were pictures there, and it really hit me that everyone, every cultural group, religious group, ethnic group, has experienced pain at the hands of others. Yes, i know its kind of a duh moment, but honestly i've never been really concerned about how other groups have suffered. Unfortunately, its human nature to focus on your pain, your hurt. We (humans) so often only take on a victim attitude, like only I (or my group) have truly suffered. Or our suffering is greater than yours. Looking at the pictures, seeing the faces of people who were directly affected by this tragedy, opened my eyes.

I've learned so much from being here already!


Friday, July 30, 2010


So my grandmother is in the hospital, and the doctors don't think that she will make it. As sad as I am, I feel peace, a calmness i cant describe. God i thank you for peace that goes beyond anything and everything i understand.

my grandmother is a strong woman of faith. She loves her some Jesus! Even though i will miss her, i know she will be at peace.

let's get it

Thursday, July 29, 2010

decisions, decisions...

OK so i've been in Japan since the 13th, moved in my apt. on the 20th, today is the 29th, so 9 days officially on my own. Its been amazing i love where i am physcially, emotionally, and spiritually. Being here feels so fesh, so clean, i know its corny, but really its like being here is good for me.

ive been working with students, at a variety of schools prepping the kids for speech competition in September. The kids are the cutest, and so polite! i feel like i'll learn so much here.

All in all one of the greatest decisions ive ever made! my first time out of the country and i move to Japan...yea go hard or go home lol!

well that's all folks (for now)


Friday, July 16, 2010

what a wonderful world...

so this morning after a wonderful breakfast, the group headed to the Suhara Glass company where we all got to make our own hand crafted piece. You really respect the artist, because they are handling molten glass. the neatest part, yes i said neatest, was watching them cut out piece of glass you would mold.

Second amazing thing we did was have lunch at a sea side hotel; then i took a stroll on the beach. Then we went to Sea World, and enjoyed dolphins, killer whales, and all other types of sea life.

We drove through the mountains for hours. It was this experience that brought me to tears. GOD IS AMAZING!!! after viewing that how could you say that all of that splendor just happened. breathtaking, magnificent, beautiful none of these words can really describe what i saw today.

Last thing we did, was have dinner in the middle of the Pacific ocean. We could see Mt. Fuji, from where we were...

Amazing day, Thank you GOD for everything you created, and thank you for being such a loving GOD that you even think about me. Ps. 8:4


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

today, yes today

i've eaten four course meals for the past 3 days!!! i don't know how anyone can eat so much on a regular basis. Today we met with the City of Yachiyo delegates, and city officials, it was great, everyone has been uber polite, and have shown such kindness. Tonight is our dinner wiith council members, i'm excited.

oh i dropped my camera in the toliet LOL...glad i uploaded pictures!


Day 2...awsome!

Trip highlights:

The first Japanese man i met, immediately started ripping on other members of the welcome committee
The budhist temple, (where my bag and lip chap was purchased)
The Tokyo Tower
viewing the Habbo-en garden
Visiting Ginza mall

Tomorrow we go to Yachiyo, visit the city council, have lunch with the mayor; then a formal dinner.

The Davis family, has adopted me as their own. I've already been invited to stay at their house, have a meal, and just be with them. They are a wonderful group of people, and I'm soo happy we met.

Well about to turn in

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

July 13th

Today is my first day in Japan!! I left @ 10:10 am on July 12th and arrived @ 1:15 July 13th. My flight was cool moving at 500mph felt amazing. for a 12 hour flight it went by rather quickly. Watched 5 movies(not in any particular order):
Our Song
Diary of a Whimpy Kid
A night with Orsen Wells
How to train your Dragon
Leap Year

so between watching all these movies, and eating 3 different meals, i'm sure i gained like 3lbs.

After landing it was on to customs, then a 45 min ride to our hotel. The ride was amazing!!! saw several rice fields, traditional Japanese houses, Tokyo Disney, and the list goes on.

Its 7:50, and we just finished dinner, i'm exhausted, can barely keep my eyes open

Friday, June 11, 2010

It's been a while

The count down continues...i have 28 days left until my departure. i'm a little nervous, but other than ready for July to get here. i'm ready to spend some much needed quality time with my amazing family. Houston has been good to me and for me.

Moving here was definitely an awakening for me. God allowed me to meet some really great people who have made such an impact in/on my life, and i will be forever indebted to their kindness.

I'm, grateful for all of the experiences that i've had here, and look forward to future endeavors!!!


Thursday, May 27, 2010

... and now i feel like...

I woke up the other day, and reality set in. I'M MOVING TO JAPAN. and i cried...
on the one hand i'm excited about the my life is going, and what's in store,
but i'm going to miss my family, friends, graduations, weddings, my god-sons 1st birthday...

I understand that this is a blessing and God is really giving me this opportunity, and its for my good, but man this is not easy to swallow.

your thoughts?


Tuesday, May 11, 2010

as if it were my last...

The day is drawing nearer, and right now i really have just been in a reflective mood. Taking in every second i get to spend with family & friends. Enjoying the small moments. ok, so maybe i'm being a bit dramatic, but the truth is, that's how we should spend everyday, as if, it will be the last time. i find myself being a little more patient, giving, and attentive.

i'm really, really, really excited, just trying not to get ahead of myself though.


Monday, May 3, 2010

Pressure to praise

Today i feel the has been soo hectic, moving, trying to pay for the trip, work madness, trying to be there for ive just made a conscious decision to give it to God...God I thank you for everything you've already done, what you have in store for me, and for the favor you have on my life. I thank you for giving me the Holy Spirit to bring things back to my remembrance. God i know you're capable to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all my feeble mind could ever think. You've placed this opportunity in my path, and i am just going to walk it out. God i thank you with everything inside of me, i thank you.


Monday, April 26, 2010

catching up

So much is going on, i've neglected my blogging duties. Boxes have taken over my apartment, i dream in bubble wrap LOL! the move is slowly, but surely becoming a reality i'm excited about the direction my life is headed in, and what God has in store for me.

Really understanding that every decision i make affects my future, and witnessing those decisions coming back is exciting, and daunting at the same time. i'm cleaning out a lot of different closets in my life. My mission now is to simplify my life. Accept the choices i've made, and move on to the next phase of my life. i'm letting go of a lot of extra stuff, people, hang-ups, fears, etc.

All in all i am truly excited about my life and the new journey i'm embarking on.


Thursday, April 15, 2010

forgoing forgiveness

I've painfully listened to people say the adage forgive and forget. I say painfully because every time someone suggests this to me I feel awful because I never seem to complete this task. See forgiving part is not that difficult, I just think of how God forgives me, but the latter...Well lets just say I have the memory of an elephant.

so the question I pose is this, is it possible for humans to forgive and forget? Is this a realistic task to complete, or just a suggestion placed on an unreachable pedestal. See our brains are programmed to remember things. Even the things you desperately want to forget somehow just get pushed to the back of our minds.


Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Emotions...make you...

The day started out kind of rough, but i thought about God's gift, God's goodness, and God's grace; it hit me, this stuff is sooo temporary, so i'm over it!!!

Ok so I haven't really been writing about any music so here's my inaugural music blog.

J.P. Morgan' s Emotion, has been a breath of mountain air, clean, refreshing, and takes your breath away. To say its amazing is like saying God is just good, good ain't good enough. This cd makes me want to fall in love, I want to experience whatever it is that this man felt when he wrote these songs. The musicians and background vocals, are phenom, to say the least. The c.d. is cutting edge, and classic all in one. my fave is Good Days/Bad Days, i can listen to that song on repeat for hours, well at least while driving from Dallas to Houston. overall LOVE< LOVE< LOVES IT!!!

His new cd drops today, going to get my copy of Walk Alone

Let's Get It!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

As unto the Lord

So today has been a pretty rough day. I got my first 'verbal warning' in my life. This is just after I've been dealing with one of the most incompetent bosses ever. At first I thought maybe it was me, maybe I've been over exaggerating, being overly sensitive, etc. Well that idea was knocked down, when five other co-workers expressed the same feelings. I have no problem admitting when I am in the wrong, hence the self examination, but when other people who work just as hard as you have the same complaints...well everybody can't be wrong/crazy.


GOD you are soo good. God has a way of getting you just what you need, just when you need it. I'm so thankful that there are people in my life, who love me, and love God, and can offer up words of spiritual encouragement.

I've decided to change my attitude, this job, how I treat people, what I do...see for a brief moment I forgot that all that I do I do as unto the Lord, not unto man. Thank you for this reminder, because now none of how I felt matters. I will do my job as unto the LORD, not unto anybody else.

Let's Get It!

Thursday, March 25, 2010


So its been two weeks since my last blog, and great, great, great, news....I'M GOING TO JAPAN!!!!! yea buddy, I leave July 12, and begin a new chapter in my book of life. I'm a little scared, but you can't overcome fears unless you face them, so I facing them head on.

This trip is only because God's hand and his favor rests on me. I know it is only by his grace, that I have been given this opportunity. I'm stepping out on faith, for the provisions to go on this AMAZING trip. God has/is/was/always blessing me, and I'm so grateful for his great works.


So it hit me yesterday, while I was looking in the mirror at myself, i realized that I will never be thin. I know it sounds really lame, but i just really figured out that I will NEVER be skinny. And i cried. weight has always been a big (no pun intended) issue to me. My grandmother called me fat for years, and i can see how it really affected me. I'm the biggest woman in my immediate family; so being called fat for years didn't help.

I was immediately reminded that I am/was "fearfully and wonderfully made." and "before the creation of the world," God knew me, and knew how i would look. So loving myself is really just agreeing with God that he did an incredible job creating me. Now that doesn't mean I should not be healthy/fit, but it does help me change the way I view myself.


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Content with contentment

As I'm preparing for this transition, I'm constantly reflecting on life choices, plans, etc. I'm reminded of Paul saying "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Phil. 4:12 (NIV)
Contentment, is a word society rarely uses. Contentment does not mean you've settled, it means you've learned to find the good in any situation, and be grateful for it.


Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Not your average jo-ann

So last night I had dinner with a good friend of mine. I must say it was soo refreshing being able to converse with a young man who is focused, of good moral character, genuine, and an all around stand up guy. After our conversation, I was forced to re-analyze myself, my goals, and my plan. I realized that just being status quo, does not and will not bring about greatness.

I've never been the 'average' girl. I can admit, that a part of me has always wanted to be average, to fit in like everybody else, but no matter how much I've tried, average does not fit me. I have always stood out, gone against the crowd, ruffled feathers...been a rebel, and I'm just now really accepting that that is who I am. Who I was born to be. Followers, the status quo, are not the people who evoke change.

So thank you Mr. Houston, I'm so glad I'm not average....because average doesn't get things done.


Thursday, February 25, 2010

So today is my 26th birthday. I must say that 25 has been a great year, God revealed a lot of things to me. I have learned a lot, have met a lot of people, and have made some new friends.

So glad things didnt go the way I planned them to go, because I would have missed out on a lot.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Grow Up

My life feels like the finale on the show, 'A Different World' Dwayne and Whitley are now married, and moving to Japan. Kim is a Doctor, Freddy a Lawyer, Ron has finally matured. And it hit me that the show, was a preview, for how life really plays out.

My friends are married, married with children, engaged, practically engaged, starting compaines, buying homes, traveling, etc. Then there's me...I have been offered the opportunity of a lifetime and am truly excited about where God is taking me.

At the same time, I feel sad...I know this is what was supposed to happen, what I wanted to happen, but I honestly didn't think things would happen this fast. Growing up is not easy, but once you Grow up, you realize, you never stop. "The only constant thing in life is Change"

I feel so Grown UP

Thursday, February 18, 2010

i was blind but now i see

I thank God for every broken heart, promise, relationship. Because that's not where I was supposed to be. Everything is coming together, things that didn't work out, were only meant to work in my favor!!!

There are times when God will allow you not to understand how things will fall into place. Please remember Jeremiah 29:11. Becuase He truly has the best for you!


Monday, February 15, 2010

Free will, is an amazing how will you use it?


Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Common Sense AINT common

In my line of work, I run into hundreds of people, who refuse to think before they act, and or speak. Young people these days (yes i know i sound old), have been spoon fed everything. Their parents, have made it nearly impossible for them to think on their own. They constantly want someone to hold their hand, instead of taking initiative, to do things on their own.

I'm not saying you toss your child to the wolves, but after you've taught them whats right, and wrong, you push them out the nest, and say good luck.


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

So what do you do if you work hard, follow the rules, go above and beyond expectations, only to be met with a wall of no's? You find another route, and you continue to find other ways to accomplish what you've set out to do until, you reach your goal.

Graduating from college was one of the highlights of my young adult life; it was also one of the most negative experiences. The truth is there are far more people that want you to fail, than the people that ginuinely want you to succeed.

I've played by the rules, I've done it their way, now its time for me to try doing things my way. This does not mean I will set aside my ethical, and moral beliefs. It just means, I can no longer play by someone else's rules, and expect to succeed. So here it goes


Monday, February 8, 2010


Ok so I haven't been on in QUITE a while, but new year, i'm going to do this right. This blog will cover everything from current events, music, sports, movies, etc. Let's get it!